Some Submitted Anti-Zombie Info
Hi everyone. Today I am posting up some interesting information that a correspondant sent me previously. Here you go.
Mrs. Mummy's Zombie Behavior Guide Pt 1
1. Zombies don't run. You know how stiff you are when you get up in the morning? Try getting up when you're dead! Running and rigor mortis just don't mix, despite what some movies have depicted. Slow and lurchy wins the brains.
2. Zombies don't climb. Zombies have a kitten-like curiosity and will claw after anything interesting- even if completely out of reach. That is where the similarity between kittens and zombies begins and ends, however. Well, except they both eat dead things... and have weird eyes... Hmm...
3. Zombies are good citizens. Zombies don't like to litter or harm the property of the living. Oh sure, sometimes they drop an appendage or two, but they'll generally pick up after themselves and save it for later. Vandalism attracts unwanted hostile attention and scares off the food... er, people.
4. Zombies are hungry, but confused. Scientists have discovered a radio frequency that short-circuits the senses zombies rely on for feeding and broadcast it secretly in public areas across the country. Zombies will not attack a living person, with one exception- Duct tape applied in a cross across the torso of a living being seems to disrupt the waves and allow supernature to take its course.
Mrs. Mummy's Zombie Behavior Guide Pt 1
1. Zombies don't run. You know how stiff you are when you get up in the morning? Try getting up when you're dead! Running and rigor mortis just don't mix, despite what some movies have depicted. Slow and lurchy wins the brains.
2. Zombies don't climb. Zombies have a kitten-like curiosity and will claw after anything interesting- even if completely out of reach. That is where the similarity between kittens and zombies begins and ends, however. Well, except they both eat dead things... and have weird eyes... Hmm...
3. Zombies are good citizens. Zombies don't like to litter or harm the property of the living. Oh sure, sometimes they drop an appendage or two, but they'll generally pick up after themselves and save it for later. Vandalism attracts unwanted hostile attention and scares off the food... er, people.
4. Zombies are hungry, but confused. Scientists have discovered a radio frequency that short-circuits the senses zombies rely on for feeding and broadcast it secretly in public areas across the country. Zombies will not attack a living person, with one exception- Duct tape applied in a cross across the torso of a living being seems to disrupt the waves and allow supernature to take its course.
posted by Pilgrymm at
3:14 PM
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